Inspirational Articles

The Transformative Power of Death

The Transformative Power of Death

Conscious Living – Vitality

By Gord Riddell & Kathy Ryndak


My mother, Helen, passed a couple of months ago at the age of 89 after suffering immensely from congestive heart failure.  Her passing continues to profoundly move my soul teaching me about the healing and transformation that can come from death.  I have dedicated this column to her as a tribute, to help others address the avoided topic of death and provide some healing insights.


Even though we were prepared for her transition, I was so devastated the morning the phone call came from my sister that mom had died.  Usually, the first thing I do is send light and love to someone who passes so that they can cross-over with ease and grace.  I was too emotional to do this so I just kept repeating the mantra “Momma I love you” and that instead became my prayer.


I was so happy that every day for the past 3 months that I was able to tell my mother I love her a few times a day and she would do the same.  I was relieved that she had finally been released from her suffering form and would be able to be close to God, her beloved Angels and loved ones on the other side. Before my mother passed, I had guided her how to move into the white light with the Angels and that my father, sister, her dog and deceased relatives would greet her on the other side.  This seemed to give her some peace although she feared the unknown of death.


Over the next few days, I moved into complete unconditional love for my mother as a result of the healing power of death. I was thankful that I did not have much unfinished business with her. Death can help us to transform any wounds through forgiveness and then only love is present.


We did an inspiring Celebration of Life ceremony instead of a funeral. I just could not go into the sad energy again of a funeral parlour for my mother.   We did the ceremony at the Gathering Place at Trinity LTC in Kitchener which is so full of light and joy.  We used inspiring prayers such as “Footprints” that are meaningful as well as prayers honouring her Christian, Catholic upbringing.  We shared our memories of our mother, what she taught us in life and our experience of her death.  Instead of having others come to speak at the podium, which most dread, I opened the sharing to the floor. My relatives told some humorous stories and talked about my mother’s wonderful qualities so that it became uplifting instead of sad. I loved that one my cousins commended my mother for being an animal lover.


She, indeed, was instrumental in our creation of Transformational Arts in that much grist for the mill was generated from my family to begin my journey of transformation and soul growth.  We all need to address our family-of-origin issues to heal our emotional patterns and issues.  I played the role of caretaker in my family and coincidently played the role again with my sister as my mother became elderly and sick. Some patterns come full circle in our transformation.


Although I deeply miss and grieve her physical presence, we always remain connected to our loved ones through our heart and soul which is eternal.  A quote from an American Greeting card I received states “There is love that will live forever, and there are memories that will shine through the sorrow.”


On a spiritual level, we are never not connected.  They do care for us on the other side, watch over us and will guide us.  They communicate with us through dreams, symbols, signs and visions. Sometimes, they will show themselves to us in our dreams as vibrant and healthy at around the age of 30. 


My mother’s first soul communication with me was 10 days before she died. I literally woke up to her physical, croaky and apprehensive voice and she said “Kathy, I am going to die”.  I didn’t know if I should have jumped in my car and go to Kitchener but then realized that many souls come to us a few days before they pass.  Two weeks after her death she came to me in a dream at 4:50 am.  She handed her purse to me in a gesture of I know you will look after the will.  There were also 4 beeps which then stopped being symbolic of her heart the time of her passing.  


Another morning, I woke up very anxious and suddenly a negative memory about my mother’s dementia came so vividly to surface.  I was feeling the angst of situation, tuned in, and knew my mother was processing this on the other side.  When we transition to the other side, we do a whole life review and move though a deep healing process in the love and light of God.  In another dream, she showed me ancient sacred seals as if they were tattooed on her body, symbolic of the healing she was going through.


For those who seek confirmation, I do recommend going to a skilled medium to communicate with our deceased loved ones as they will relay many truths to facilitate our forgiveness and healing of grief.  We obtain substantial proof that they live on eternally.  Every time the Long Island medium shares her messages, the recipient is intensely moved and usually in tears.   However, we can learn how to communicate with them through our spiritual, intuitive side without the help of a medium for they are just a thought away.


It is a given that we all grieve in our own unique way. However, can we expand our perspective of death beyond grieving and look at it as mutual transformational, healing and spiritual experience for us and the deceased.  I will end with another quote from a card: “There are some things that never, ever leave us – A mother’s love is one of them.”  And again, my mantra, “I love you Momma…forever.”